Friday, August 24, 2007

Ice Harvest, 5 and 5

Here are 5 reasons Ice Harvest with John Cusack Circa 2005 was good, and 5 reasons why it sucked.

1.It has John Cusack in it.

2.It's a unique approach where the caper in the movie is just the start of the movie and not the driving force in the actual film. I liked that.

3. The cinematography is pretty cool, it's very dark visually yet still upbeat and happy

4. Joan Cusack (the lesser of the Cusacks) was not in this movie, I kept waiting for her to pop out from behind a tree and beg John to throw her a bone like he does in almost every other movie he does. but thankfully she was not there.

5. Drunk ass Oliver Platt is hysterical.

Reasons it sucked.

1. Alot of the characters where a bit over the top, from the chick that ran the strip club with the black eyed strippers in it, to Billy Bob Thortons over acted version of himself.

2. Show me where you can get out of a D.U.I. 5 times in one nite.

3. The flow of time in the movie is almost does not exist. It feels like that night went on forever, which is great and maybe what they were going for, but at least eat dinner before what feels like 11:30 at night.

4.It just gets annoying by the last 20 minutes. nonsensicle plot twists aside

5. John Cusacks character is set up to have to deal with issues with his children and ex-wife, but I think the movie forgot about that halfway through,

All in all, its got John Cusack in it so its very watchable.


Disturbia, 10 reasons why it sucked.

1. It took forever to get going, normally after page 17 to 25 of a script, movies are supposed to be interesting, conflict is introduced and so on, well Disturbia takes about 3 so on's to really move forward. ya the kid has issues i get it.

2. The kids issues, although obvious are never really presented as a viable part of the film.

3. Who go's fly fishing?!

4. The mother character is never a real character in the movie, she seems like merely a device to further the plot.

5. what is up with that chicks nose, aside from that, nice ass.

6. I love Rear Window. ya Hitchcock

7. How come that kid can take apart and rewire a web-cam but he cant splice a standard t.v. chord back together.

8. What hot girl, nose aside, go's to the neighbor, who's under house arrest, when she is locked out of her house.

9. who's been hit in the head with an aluminum baseball bat and lived, show of hands?

10. i kept waiting for the killer to turn out to be a decepticon.

so ya Disturbia, not good.

joe eoj

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

10 Reasons Why I Love Robocop

10. Distopian-Future Detroit looks like today's Detroit.

9. Robocop is able to dodge Cobra Assault Cannon fire while strafing slower than most tortoises.

8. Miguel Ferrer doing what he does best: playing a complete bastard.

7. There are enough bloody squibs in the extended cut to keep Trojan in business for years.

6. Robocop eats baby food... and loves it!

5. Future-Detroit has all of the awesome technology of 1987 Detroit!

4. The panes of glass in the Delta City skyscrapers are broken merely by touching them, and they instantly cause whoever broke them to fly out of the building screaming to his death.

3. The villain drives an S.U.X. 6000, which gets 8.2 miles to the gallon.

2. Peter Weller gets his hand shot off... and then his arm... and then his face! By five shotguns, no less!

1. The ED-209 "chicken robot" slips and falls down the stairs. Hilarious.