Non-athlete professionals who took performance enhancing drugs and should possibly be in the record books with an asterisks

Aaron Sorkin: Playwright/screenwriter. A Few Good Men, The American President, and West Wing. Plus, Sports Night, and Studio 60, the two greatest shows ever canceled. His dialogue is poetry in prose. A dance of words … Performance enhancing drug of choice: Cocaine.

Kate Moss: Supermodel and super thin.. Performance enhancing drug of choice: Heroine (chic) and syrup-of-ipecac. (aka HSH – Human Shrinking Hormone) People don’t get that thin naturally. Have you seen the perceived size of her head in relation to her body?

Sherlock Holmes: The greatest criminal investigator ever (before Monk.)Performance enhancing drug of choice: Opium. The man could see things nobody else could.

Hunter S. Thomson: Gonzo journalist extroidinaire. Performance enhancing drug of choice: Everything and everything. He openly admits his drug use in writing, like the Jose Conseco of journalism.

Marion Barry: Mayor of Washington, DC. (no relation to Marion Jones – gold medal cheater) Performance enhancing drug of choice: Crack. Set up or not, that man did things in his office.

Con Phillis: Once voted World’s Greatest Dad (according to a coffee cup). Performance enhancing drug of choice: Caffeine in the form of - no surprise - coffee. How effective is this? He’s still a great dad, even in his 80s. In his 80s!

Sylvia Plath: Poet, writer, visionary. Performance enhancing drug of choice: Huffing gas. No way she gets to the end of her career without it.