Monday, May 02, 2005

Upon Rewatching Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan

The other day I was watching Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan - which, I say from a completely undorky, non-trekkie point of view, is the most bad ass of the Star Trek films. Now, up to the other day, I probably hadn't seen this movie in about eight years. This is not an arbitrary number of years. I decided long ago that Wrath of Khan is best seen once every eight years. I based this number on countless hours of research into human physical and mental limitations. I discovered Wrath of Khan is just way too intense to be viewed more often than every eight years. Viewing the film more often - say once every six years - may lead to undue mental and physical strain. Just hearing William Shatner's anguished howls of "KHAN!!!" can cause the elderly to slip into comas and induce labor in woman who aren't even pregnant.

Still with this said, there are things which I noticed this time which I didn't eight years ago. They're only small, tiny little details, which nonetheless did detract from the film if only in the slightest. I guess my critical faculties have grown in the past eight years. It's been known to happen. Now, before I list these tiny faults, remember this film still rocks...hard.

Now, Wrath of Khan features Ricardo Montalbon as genetically altered 20th century super man Khan. In the classic Star Trek episode 'Space Seed' - I swear to God I am not a complete nerd - Kirk first tangled with Khan and eventually marooned him on a distant planet. In this movie, Khan gets off the planet and seeks revenge against Kirk. That, in a nutshell, is the entire movie. Now, I know what your thinking. You think you know what my first complaint is, but you're wrong. You think I'm going to complain about the casting of Ricardo Montalbon. I am not. As a matter of fact. I applaud the casting. If I had to find someone to portray twentieth century genetically engineered superman, I would definitely go the Montalbon route. Face it, the guy just reeks of 20th century genetically engineered superman. No one else could have played this role.

My problem is with the writing and execution of the Khan character. Here's a guy who's been genetically altered to be smarter and stronger than other men, but you never really see this in the film. He lucks his way off of his planet and right into Kirk's axis. He doesn't really do anything. On top of this he's outsmarted by William Shatner about three times - by William Freakin' Shatner. Come on, we're supposed to believe this guys a uber-intelligent but he can't outfox Shatner. On the plus side, Ricardo does wear a super sweet fake muscle chest piece.

Now onto my major beef with the movie. This isn't a problem with this movie, but with a lot of Star Trek films. The film climaxes with big space battle between two federation ships. As to be expected the ships exchange a lot of lazor and photon torpedo fire, leading to only a shaking camera and a few exploding panels but no real damage. This is OK with me. It's a Star Trek movie, I don't expect anything less. What does bother me is the sheer amounts of extras who are killed for no reason. You might know what I'm talking about. Every time a lazor hits, the movie shows the interrior of the ship sustaining damage. Invariably - in the non-bridge scenes at least - there is some poor sap walking by this very part of the ship who is sent flying through the ship to show the power of photon torpedoes.

This bothers me mainly because this guy is always just strolling along minding his own business like nothings going when the torpedo hits. Come on, you're in a space battle with a group of 20th century genetically engineered supermen, show some hustle. Shouldn't these people be running to battle stations like their lives depended on it, not just strolling along like a sunday afternoon in the park. What's wrong with these people? Maybe their on their lunch break. "Sorry Steve, I know we're under attack from genetically engineered 20th century supermen, but it's noon and I packed a lunch. Be back in half an hour. I'm just going to walk slowly to the break room along the exterior of the ship." You'd think they would at least move to lunch with a sense of purpose.

Oh well. Those are just few of my tiny problems with this totally badass film. There may be more problems which I did not notice. I'll be sure to look for them on my next viewing and report back to you. Talk to you in eight years.

Shalom

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