Poke it... I dare you!

Never show someone something on your laptop. No matter what you do, no matter how impressive what's on your screen may be, it's not worth the pain and torment you will experience afterwards. When you pull out your laptop-- whether it's an adorable iBook or a thick and heavy HP-- and turn that thing around to show an audient, they will almost immediately, and inadvertantly, poke your screen. When they do, a piece of your soul will die.

Why people have the urge to poke at LCD screens I shall never know. Perhaps it's because they are so much brighter and nicer looking than a CRT. Or maybe it's because people enjoy the ripples that come from that brief little jab from your index. Or perhaps it's just because people know they aren't supposed to. For whatever reason, everyone does it.

Since I do so much design work on the road with my iBook, I'm often showing my wares to passers by. Each one of them reaches out to the screen, as if touching it will reassure them that they are merely looking at a picture, and not the actualy flyer or brochure that I've created. Sometimes I move the laptop out of the way, other times I distract them with a loud "yelp," or maybe I'll just swat their hand away like a nasty bug.

I'm not the only one having this problem either. My friend Chris is adament about the celebacy of his screen. Dr. Jerz, just the other day, mentioned his outrage after a fellow faculty member took a jab at his LCD. It's one of those things that happens to all laptop owners, you just don't find out until you start complaining yourself.

But why do you get so upset when people poke the screen? After all, it does look really cool to see the images ripple like a clear pond in the summer time. Each and every time you press your digit into the soft liquid crystal, you are actually killing those crystals! Pushing them around, confusing them, and leaving them for dead. It's like God sending down a bolt of lightning into a beautiful field of unicorns! And of course, this will lead to a shorter lifespan for your laptop, and some permanent dark blotches down the line.

So next time your friend says, "Hey you, come here and check out this sweet pic I made in Photoshop!" Don't stick out your finger and charge toward his screen.