farting and boobs

Let’s take it down a notch.
Why is there so many objections to farting and burping in this society? Aren’t these natural bodily actions?
They are. (not that I’m in the habit of answering all my own questions) Not only is it unhealthy to hold them inside, it’s mentally damaging, too.
That’s right, our psyches are taught to burp and fart, the same as Pavlov’s dog salivates at a bell.
When we’re babies, mom throws us over a shoulder and pats our backs until we let one rip. Then the louder we are, the more goo-goo faces, and ‘you’re a little piggy, yes, you are …yes you are’ we get. When does that stop? (and more importantly, why?)
When you’re a baby and you fart, people come over and grab your butt. Sure they’re looking for poop, but you don’t know that, because they’re also giving you the sing-song ‘you’re a stinky baby, yes, you are … yes you are’ which you associate with good things, like burping and sticking random objects in your mouth.
Now I’m not saying stick random objects in my mouth – I’m not saying don’t, either, mind you, but that’s a different post – What I’m saying is if I have a natural bodily function, let’s celebrate a little more. Tell me I’m piggy, yes, I am, yes, I am. And if I fart, go ahead and grab my butt. Most of the time you won’t find poop there, and I’ll like it.
I’d do the same for you if you want.
Oh, and as for boobs, I like them. Like a bell to Pavlov’s dog. (I’m a piggy, yes, I am, yes I am.)
ps farting, poop and boobs – the Second City would be sooooo proud of me.
Peace
Larry