An Open Letter

Dear people of Beaver County,

Recently my neighbor has changed his/her internet service leaving me without a free wireless signal to use. I know. it's a travesty. One day good ol' linksys is up and running. I can get internet both in my bed and at my desk. Then, in the twinkling of an eye, linksys was gone. I tried to stay calm. I simply assumed the network was down for technical reasons. That was until the evil, vile, and very, very password protected Hom847 came on the scene. Clearly, my neighbor has upgraded their network and foolishly added and a password leaving me out in the cold. How could he/she do this to me? Am I not wrong to feel my neighbor - either directly next door or across the street - has been terribly inconsiderate towards me? I don't think so.

Now I am without internet. I have been making do with going to local coffee houses and checking my email at libraries, but this is quite limiting. Libraries and coffee shops close. Coffee shops expect you to buy something. My life is in shambles.

This brings me to you, the good people of Beaver County. More specifically I am addressing this to the Beaver Falls College Hill community. Does anyone have an unprotected WiFi signal which will allow me to get on to the internet? I am in the market for a new network to glom onto. Perhaps I shouldn't say 'in the market' since that may lead to assumption that I am willing to pay you for this service. I am not. Ideally, I would like to find a home within a few blocks of my current residence - or possibly someone to move into the vacant apartment beneath mine while setting up a nice network. The ideal candidate would live in a large home where a someone sitting outside typing on a notebook would not be deemed suspicious. Ideally the home would be equipped with a large covered patio. Chairs and possibly a table would be much appreciated. I am perfectly willing to sit on your porch for hours at a time looking up arcane facts on wikipedia, the new John Rambo trailer on YouTube, googling random acquaintances , and doing other time killing internet business. You do not have to speak to me or even acknowledge me. In fact, I would prefer this. Anyone interested in helping me out, please contact me through his blog. Thank you.

Shalom