My Cover Letter for my Application to the World's Strongest Man Company

Dear President of the World’s Strongest Man Association,

Allow me to say right up front that I am a huge fan of your organization. I have always admired the creativity of The World’s Strongest Man competitions. Your company is clearly the world leader in the discovering new ways for large men to lift, carry, drag, and throw heavy objects. Where a lesser organization would be perfectly happy to have a beefy gentleman carry one refrigerator you insist upon giving him two. While a less ambitious corporation would simply have forty pound beer kegs lifted, you tell them to throw the kegs over a 14 foot wall, backwards, over their heads. The list could go on. Your resourcefulness in the area of testing the physical strength of Norwegians is, in my ever so humble opinion, nothing short of genius. Some people look at an anchor and see nothing more than a heavy piece of metal to moor a ship. When the people in your organization look at an anchor, you see a cool looking weight for a six-foot-five-inch behemoth to race across a thirty yard track. Your organization should be proud of the immense strides you have made in the ever competitive field strong men contests.

While I am no strong man – I am actually quite far from it – I feel that I would be a valuable asset to your company. While I lack the physical strength of the world’s strongest men, I make up for with strength of mind and creativity. I have spent long hours imagining my own strong man competitions. I feel that, while the great minds in your think tanks have thought up myriad wondrous strong man tests, I have the depth of imagination to take your competitions to the next level. There are many heavy things which your competitors are currently asked to hoist, carry, and/or throw – large stones, tree trunks, anchors, and small European automobiles to name only a few – but there are so many heavy things which you have yet implement. Have you, for instance, considered pianos, steamer trunks filled with hardcover books, old-fashioned console televisions, or full-sized marble statues of horses? These are just a few heavy items I would love to witness your contestants lift, race, or toss. Some preferably tossed.

Also, while I applaud you for truly testing the mighty to crown the World’s Strongest Man, but I am a little disappointed that none of your events test for either intellectual or emotional strength. I am aware this is not the primary motive for your company, but the title of your program is not ‘The World’s Physically Strongest Man’. I have, I feel, strong suggestions on how these other elements of strength can be worked into competition. For instance, while dead lifting a large log contestants can be asked simple math questions. Contestants can debate economic theory while pulling sleds weighted with fifty canon balls. Inform every contestant individually that for every event they fail to win, an innocent puppy will be executed. During the finals, upgrade from puppy to human infant. These are just a few of the several ideas I have which will truly test every level of human strength, thereby making your event even more compelling.

Clearly, I am the perfect candidate for a position in your organization and your organization is the perfect match for my unique talents. I fully believe your company offers the best environment for my creative powers of thinking of crazy things for really strong people to do to blossom. I have attached my resume to this letter. I can be reached by the phone number given or via e-mail. If I am unavailable are just a few of the several ideas I have which will truly test every level of human strength, thereby making your event even more compelling.

Clearly, I am the perfect candidate for a position in your organization and your organization is the perfect match for my unique talents. I fully believe your company offers the best environment for my creative powers of thinking of crazy things for really strong people to do to blossom. I have attached my resume to this letter. I can be reached by the phone number given or via e-mail. If I am unavailable, I will return your message as soon as possible. I thank you for any time spent in considering this application. Good day.

Shalom