Rules To Live By Based Mainly On Action Movies

If you are on a boat and Steven Seagal is the cook, get off the boat.

If you’re going to a hockey game and see Jean-Claude Van Damme with his kids, leave the arena.

If you see Sandra Bullock on your bus, get off.

If Bruce Willis shows up at your office Christmas party, excuse yourself early.

If you are on a train and Steven Seagal is the cook, get off the train.

If you are driving through a tunnel and see Sylvester Stallone in the car behind you, get out of that tunnel.

If you are at a bar and Patrick Swayze is the bouncer, you are safe.

If you see both Sandra Bullock AND Keanu Reeves on your bus, it’s already to late.

If you are reporter boarding air force one and Harrison Ford is the president, stay home and write about congress.

If you see Wesley Snipes boarding your flight, stay home.

If you see Samuel L. Jackson Boarding your flight, stay home.

If you see Sandra Bullock on your boat, get off that boat.

Never marry Steven Seagal. (Although you can rest assured your death will be avenged, most likely after a lengthy coma.)

Don’t make Bill Bixby mad.

If you run into Alan Rickman or Jeremy Irons using a questionable German accent, leave town.

If you see both Sandra Bullock and Jason Patrick on your boat, it’s probably already too late.

If Jean-Claude Van Damme is claiming to be French Canadien, Creole, French, or pretty much anything other than Belgian, leave town.

If you see Gene Hackman on your boat, get off the boat.

If Sylvester Stallone is your mountain climbing guide, cancel your trip.

If you see Kurt Russell driving a truck into Chinatown, get out of Chinatown.
If you see Sandra Bullock, Jason Patrick, Gene Hackman, and Steven Seagal on your boat, you are probably already dead.

Shalom