Wi-Fi Madness

As I write this blog entry, I lay in my bed with my iBook. Not only am I writing this blog, but I'm publishing it from my bed too, and I'm also streaming my iTunes playlist, talking on AIM and sending some e-mail all while laying tummy down on the quilt my grandma made me. Now before you call witchcraft and string me up by neck... halt! I'm not using some weird smoke and mirrors method of accessing the internet. I'm using technology from the 21st century!!! It's called WI-FI (aka wireless internet). And holy smokes it's great.

Wireless internet is an idea that first formulated back during the Cold War. It was a young Al Gore who first was struck in the head by an apple (much like Sir Newton, except this apple was thrown at Gore by Ollie North). Mr. Gore said to himself, in a very slow and monotonous tone, "I should create a world wide communication network... with my bare hands! All by myself!" And then, about an hour later, over a bowl of scrambled eggs with ketchup, he thought out loud, "You know what... once I have this internet thing completed, I should make it go through the air without wires... I will make this with my bare hands! The question is how..."

And so Al Gore set to work on the world wide web. Using his vast knowledge of boring things, he was able to device networks and servers, cables and browsers, even spam and viruses. The man thought of everything (honest). Gore spent as much time as a human man could, and then some, on perfecting this tool that would revolutionize the world. And once he had things "good enough" he decided to move on to making the wires disappear and the world wide web go air born.

For this task, he contracted the help of three key men: David Copperfield, the Verizon Guy, and Jerry Stiller. David Copperfield was brought in for his masterful skills as illusion. He could make any wire disappear with enough bed sheets and spotlights. This would be the go-to-guy for making the wires less. That's when the Verizon Guy comes in. You may know him as the Rivers Cuomo-looking dude who says "Can you hear me now?" He is there to hook up the service so it goes at a decent by not great speed. Once it's actually up and running, Jerry Stiller comes in to test it out. Of course he can't go a few minutes without yelling and shaking his hands while looking at a laptop without any wires. "What is going on!!!?" he will yell, and George Costanza, Kevin James, and Ben Stiller all peek their heads in to see what's wrong.

Chalk up another great invention by Al Gore. No wait, don't... he might sell it to the Chinese.

And it was just yesterday that we got wi-fi installed at our house. It was a big step for us, one that I take full credit for initiating. You see, I recently got a new iBook, and I insisted on getting a Apple Airport Extreme card in it (which is the Apple-brand wireless card). It was once I got home and began talking about wireless internet, that my brother got very interested in it. He went ahead and found a Netgear 802.11g (that's how much it weighs) wi-fi router and about a week later it was at my doorstep. The thing itself is amazing... I was originally worried about how far it would reach in our house, and in the end, it goes all the way out in to the middle of the street! I immediately had to set up the security on it, so as to prevent some drive-by wi-fi.

Just think, next time I blog... I could be on my roof, in my basement, or on the toilet. Yeah, just let that sink in.