Unwanted Tidings

I’m going to cut right to the chase: Christmas music on the radio. “Already?” you say, “but its not even Thanksgiving yet!” Yeah, you’re right. (Although saying “its not even Thanksgiving yet” is about cliché as saying something tired like “I’m going to cut right to the chase.”)

There is one song in particular that irks me: “Baby It’s Cold Outside” song, or as I like to call it, “The Rufies Song (Date Rape Ditty)." Some of you might have already heard/read my thoughts on this matter.These are the lyrics as I recall them:

Female: I gotta go.
Male: Aw, stay, its cold.
F: No really, gotta go.
M: The windchill makes it even more frigid.
F: My father, mother, brother, sister, and neighbors all know where you live.
M: In here it is warm.
F: Maybe just a half a drink more…oh god, stop looking at me like that…
M: Bbrrrrrrrrrrr....
F: Say- what’s in this drink? I feel strange.
M: Gosh your lips look delicious.
F: Are you touching me?! I feel numb, and sleepy. So tired…
M: What's the sense in hurting my pride.
F: No means no.
M: You mean: No, you’re not going outside because of the inclement whether?
F: I am calling the police right now…
M: If you caught pneumonia and died I would be sorrowful!
F: That’s so sweet! Ok I'll stay!
Cop: Is there a problem here?
F: Sorry officer, its all a misunderstanding.
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See what I mean? There also “White Christmas.” While on most levels it’s lovely, I can’t stop analyzing it along racial/socio-economic lines and feeling a bit disturbed. Oh, infernal social conscience, where dost thou off-switch lie?