A Panda Dies; A Boy Smiles

I usually do not think of myself as being a particularly sick or cruel individual. Still, every now and again I am surprised at the malice which springs from my own heart. This morning I read the awful news of how Ya Ya, a panda in captivity in China, accidentally killed her own cub. Apparently Ya Ya hasn’t been sleeping or eating properly and accidentally crushed her young child. Now, according the MSNBC report I read, Ya Ya is in a state of extreme mourning. Now, most people would read this and feel sad. They would feel bad for Ya Ya and her loss. They would feel bad that a young member of an endangered species has died such a senseless death. Most people are saddened by such bad news. Me on the other hand…

This news makes me overwhelmingly happy. I am gleeful. I am ecstatic. After reading this news this morning, I am walking on air. I am smiling and waving to strangers on the street. I’m dancing. Well, not right now – at this moment I am typing – but I danced earlier. I may dance again later. I feel renewed. I feel at peace. The terrible news of a dead panda cub is a soothing balm to my embattled soul. The existential questions of who I am and where I stand in this world are temporarily on hold. These questions are rendered completely moot. The angst accompanying them is out the window. A panda has died. Better yet, a baby panda has died. Can there possibly be better bad news?

Yeah, dead panda cub stories make me happy. I’m not proud of it. Well, I’m not terribly proud of it. I guess maybe I am a little sick. Of course, there’s always the chance I am not alone. At the risk of being met with the cyber space equivalent of cricket chirps, I need to ask a very serious question: Who else is incredibly reassured, even made a little happy by this horrible news? I know I am opening myself up to a barrage of “How dare you assume I’m as sick as you. I love pandas. This is a tragedy.” comments – bring them on – but please, look deep inside of yourselves. Isn’t there some small part of you at peace right now knowing a panda has died? Would you really feel better if the news story was about a baby panda that was saved by a brave zoo worker at the penultimate moment? That would be a great story, a heroic story, a ‘feel good’ story’, but it would hardly register. Every morning I look over the headlines on various internet sites. I hardly click on most stories, but when I read the headline ‘Panda Mourns accidental killing of Cub’, I could not get my mouse moving fast enough. Now I don’t need to hear any answers, but I do want everyone to be completely honest with themselves. Which headline are you most likely to click on to read the full article: ‘Panda Mourns Accidental Loss of Cub,’ or ‘Panda Cub Saved from Peril’? Now, ponder your answer.

Walker Percy in his brilliant book ‘Lost in the Cosmos’ also wondered “Why it is that the self – though it Professes to be Loving, Caring, to Prefer Peace to War, Concord to Discord, Life to Death; to Wish Selves Well, not Ill – in fact Secretly Relishes Wars and Rumors of War, News of Plane Crashes, Assassinations, Mass Murders, Obituaries, to say nothing of Local News about Acquaintances Dropping Dead in the Street, Gossip about Neighbors getting in Fights or being Detected in Sexual Scandals, Embezzlements, and other Disgraces.” We all love stories of tragedies. They pierce through all the crap in our lives. They make us feel strangely good. I am heartened by the news of a defenseless baby panda’s death (can we at least all agree that, as animals go, pandas a terribly overrated and needed to be brought down a peg). So what? Aren’t we all a little heartened by this news? Or if we are not all heartened by bad news, at least I have a National Book Award winner on my side.

Shalom,
James