Sundays Off

Dear Steelers,

I am writing you this letter to express my deep gratitude for all you have done for me. Yes, I know you won the Super Bowl earlier this year. This is all well and good. I guess congratulations are in order. Although this is not the reason I am giving my thanks to you today. I am writing you today to show my deep appreciation for all you have done for me this season. Yes, I am well aware that you are not doing well this year. In fact you are terrible – and not in the towel sense but rather in the last place behind the Cleveland Browns sense. After this past Sunday’s loss to the awful Oakland Raiders, I have personally declared your season over. You are not going to make the Playoffs this year. You should consider yourselves very lucky if you finish an even eight and eight. Pittsburgh Steelers, you suck. Thank you.

You’ve really opened up my Sundays. I really don’t care if I watch another game for the rest of the season. Oh, I’ll probably see a couple, but only if I have nothing better to do. It’s not like I actually have to see the games to know the outcomes. Heck, I can probably guess the outcomes of most of the rest of the games right now: four turnovers – at least one on special teams – a tired defense on the field too long, and a brain damaged quarterback throwing for a passer-rating in the vicinity of the age of most Gen X’ers. Why waste my time watching horrible football? Of course, I am a fan, but does being a fan necessarily entail watching every game no matter how painful it is to watch? There is a line between fan and masochist, and I personally have not crossed it.

Now without being locked into the mindset dictating that I watch the Steelers’ game every week, I’ve been freed to pursue other interest. I have so much more time on my hands. I find my self so much more fulfilled. Why this past Sunday – I actually gave up on the Steelers after the Atlanta game and was only emboldened in my decision this week – I spent my Sunday with my Girlfriend. We carved pumpkins and watched ‘High School Musical’. It was a splendid time. And yes, Steelers, you heard correctly, I had a better time watching the Disney Channel movie ‘High School Musical’ than I would have had watching you lose. Seriously, the movie was entertaining, had a good lesson for children about acceptance, and featured the song ‘Getcha Head in the Game’ which is a pretty killer number. I even stopped enjoying ironically half way through and simply began enjoying it while I carved a Fu Manchu onto my jack o’ lantern.

Steelers, please don’t get me wrong. I am still a fan. But through the rest of this season don’t be offended if you don’t see me in front of the TV on Sunday afternoons. I may have used the time to go to the gym or the supermarket. I may take the opportunity to play in the autumn leaves or build a winter’s snow fort. Don’t be shocked to see me with my grandmother at the store, following her motorized chair and getting products from the top shelf. I may even take a nap. Don’t worry Steelers. I’ll be back next year. Hopefully your high draft choice will help you remain competitive or at least hold my attention.

Shalom,
James