The Lonely Plight of the Cartoon Character at Christmas

In this holiday season it is natural to reflect upon family. In the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, family is forced out to the forefront like no other time of year. Families come together to join in celebrations of the holidays. Parents and children grow closer while distant relatives are thought of and contacted. Still, in this season of giving it is also important to remember those without families: cartoon characters.

They give us joy and pleasure year in and year out, but what do the cartoon characters we know and love have to go home to? No one. Cartoon characters live a sad lonely life. Bugs Bunny lives by himself in a hole in the ground. He apparently has no wife, no children, and – even more bothersome – no parents. Mickey Mouse lives a similarly lonesome life. He does have a relationship with one Minnie Mouse, but they have yet to be married. They are also often seen apart. In many of Mickey’s adventures, Minnie is not even mentioned. The actually intimacy of the couples relationship remains to be seen.

Sadder still is the fate of cartoon children. They often come from broken homes. When was the last time you saw a cartoon character with both parents? If a cartoon character has any parents at all, it is usually an ineffectual single father. Generally, any attempt for this single father to remarry is usually hampered by the ‘Wicked’ syndrome, where they woman is almost guaranteed to be wicked – this also applies to any step-children which would come along in the union.

Most cartoon youth have no parents. Take for instance, the case of Huey, Louie, and Duey. These poor triplet ducks have no permanent family. They have no parents. Whether their parents are dead or completely absentee remains to be seen. All that is known for sure is that it has put these ducklings at a severe emotional and developmental disadvantage. Throughout their lives they have been passed from foster parent to foster parent. Their ‘primary’ caregiver has been their uncle Donald Duck. Donald is clearly not what most people would consider an ideal parental figure. With his hair trigger rage, dubious claims to being a sailor, and wanton disregard for pants, Donald surely has inflicted emotional scars on our trio of youngsters which would take years of therapy to even unveil. Whenever Donald became to volatile a foster parent, Huey, Duey, and Louie where most often dumped into the laps of their Uncle Scrooge McDuck. While Scrooge would appear to have the advantage of being able to provide for the triplets with his vast fortune, he is poor in the one category which counts: love. Scrooge McDuck is cold, distant, and would rather spend his time alone in his Money Bin than with our young impressionable ducks. Huey, Louie, and Duey are often left to their own devices with only the bizarre help to watch them. This ‘help’ includes a snooty butler, an unlicensed pilot, and a sweetly benign nanny and her daughter. Whenever Scrooge does grace the ducklings with attention it is usually to use them as slave labor in searching for more of his precious treasure. In such harsh environments, it is no surprise that Huey, Louie, and Duey have had no choice but to grow up tough. They are a harsh unruly bunch with a lot of fight in them. They once took on a mummy. Seriously, I saw it.

This is just one example of dozens showing the emptiness of growing up cartoon. Cartoon characters grow up rough and remain distant their entire lives. Whenever anyone does try to reach out to them, they are usually greeted with hilarious, hilarious violence including but not limited to exploding dynamite, falling anvils and pianos, runaway trains, and gunplay. So, please as you gather with your family for the holidays, take just one moment to reflect on the cartoon characters who have given so much to entertain you, but have no families of their own to spend the holidays with. As you sit down to the Christmas ham, think of the poor cartoon characters who sit down to a ham sandwich alone only to find the ham sandwich is stuffed with TNT and explodes in their face causing extensive singeing and beak twisting but no long term damage.

Shalom