Joyous Ramblings about Pie

I love pie. Really I do. I love it so much. My love for pie can hardly be expressed with words. For you to truly begin to understand my undying devotion to pie I would have to acquire the ability to send raw emotion through cyber space, like a webcam that shows my naked soul. Then you would feel the unfiltered power of my love, and it would prove so powerful that people would begin to doubt the sincerity of their own love for their own spouses and children. Yes, I love pie that much.

Pie is the food of the gods. Be it in fruit or cream form, there is simply no denying pie's simple perfection. Perfectly round - all points equidistant from the center - with flaky crust containing sweet filling so sticky sweet it should be a sin, pie knows no peer. From the first taste you are overcome with sensory overload, the contrast between crust and filling - gooey and flaky, sweet and buttery - the smell, the warmth - best when set off by sweet chill of ice cream - the memories of grandma, Thanksgiving, American childhoods.

I love everything about pie, not merely the simple act of eating. I love the act of ordering pie, the solemn ceremony of the occasion. The waitress asking if I would like anything else, knowing full well that I do want something else: I want pie. I ask for the list of pies available which is recited with wonderful professionalism. I listen to every one. I contemplate each variety with all due reverence finally choosing one - why must I choose only one. Then comes my favorite part. The waitress ask if I would like the pie heated. I say yes. Would I like it with ice cream. I say yes - would any one in his right mind possibly so no to these questions.

Then I get to eat the pie. Oh, sheer joy, ultimate pleasure. I transcend to a higher plane, a plane where all that exist is me, the pie, and unadulterated joy. I remain in pie nirvana for up to a full day after consumption. If you ever see me walking around with a goofy grin on my face, there is a good chance I've eaten some pie recently. It is the ultimate mood enhancer. No drug, no natural root extract, no birth of a child can possibly hope to inspire such wondrous feelings from my soul. It just makes me happy.

Shalom