My Favorite Shape - please don't hate me

Circles are not my favorite shape. I know it might be sacrilegious to suggest such a thing when I ... well ... run in the circles I do.
It’s not that I don’t like circles - I like standing in them talking to friends (even if it’s really an oval shape.) I especially like them if we’re playing Hackey Sack. Circles make soccer balls possible (even though it’s a sphere that makes them possible.) And I like the rings my coffee cup leaves on my unfinished manuscripts.
But still, it’s not my favorite shape.
The thing is, I like triangles.
When you’re talking shapes, let’s be honest, you’re really talking about the big three; triangles, circles and squares. Sure, there are other ‘basic’ shapes like ovals and rectangles, but they’re just spin-offs of circles and squares. (Notice there’s no spin off of the triangle – too original)
There are also shapes with great sounding names like rhombus and parallelogram. I love the sound of the word parallelogram. Say it. Go ahead. Say it out loud. It’s fun. “Parallelogram.” But picking a favorite of something simply from the cool sound would mean I wanted to be a paraplegic. Fun to say, (go ahead, paraplegic) not so much fun to be.
Since we’re talking about sound, triangle has the word ‘try’ in it. And the connotation of ‘try’ is everything life should be about. Try everything you can. Try new things. Try because that’s the first step to succeed. Sure, it actually stands for 3, but that’s okay, because if SchoolHouse Rock taught me anything, it’s that 3 is a magic number. Hence, triangles are a magic shape.
What’s the connotation of a circle? Getting back to where you started? Then why leave in the first place. I’ll just stay here and not worry about it. And with all due respect to Simba, the circle of life is stupid. Life isn’t a circle; it’s a path - point A to Point B, beginning to end, not beginning to beginning.
I know things repeat themselves throughout history, like fighting wars in the name of God, the rise and fall of great empires, Bell Bottom pants and episodes of MASH on fx. That’s doesn’t mean it’s a circle. It means historians and the general public have too much time on their hands. Who thought it was a good idea for a circle to bring back Disco?
Squares are good, but in life, no one really wants to be a square. Except for a brief period in the late Eighties when Huey Lewis said it was okay. Of course Huey also said you don’t no credit card to ride this train. You decide.
Once Huey said it was okay to be square, then square became hip. Square is hip, up is down, alternative became popular, there was mass hysteria, dogs and cats sleeping together … And aliens started making crop circles. That’s right, circles. Aliens never make crop triangles. (Mostly because it’s too hard to pound a stake in the ground attach a rope and walk around the stake at the exact distance needed to form a perfect triangle. Can’t be done.)
Without triangles, there would be no suspension bridges. Let’s see you try to cross the San Francisco Bay on the Golden Gate Giant Floating Beach Ball Car Transporter.
Even the alphabet knows triangles are the best shape. The letter A is a triangle and that’s where it all starts. Unless you’re Greek and in fourth. O is like 15th. And there aren’t any letters that are square, unless you’re making block letters and then you can make an O with a square shape, but it’s no better than tied for 15th.
Houses might be better in a square shape, but without a triangle on the top to deflect the falling rain and snow, that weak shaped square would crush under the weight.
I’ll give this to circles; they gave us Br2. An equation which makes possible the joke, ‘No, pi are round, cake r square.’ And any stupid pun joke is all right by me.
Br2. It’s a good equation but not quite as powerful as A2+B2=C2.
Squares don’t really have any cool equations. A=B=C=D and angle AB = 90? It’s a square for God’s sake, how complicated is that?
Squares are nothing. Circles are good, even if when drawn they sometimes signify nothing. But triangles are something. Triangles are god-like.
God-like you ask? Sure, even if you’re not Catholic.
Triangles have given me, a mere mortal, a piece of immortality.
Without triangles, there would be no paper footballs. Without paper footballs, I never would have gotten that detention in 7th grade English class. And without that one detention, I wouldn’t have a ‘permanent record’. Without my permanent record, it’s like I would never have existed.
Triangles made me immortal.
Let’s see a rhombus do that.