Hierarchy of Buffets

There are three tiers of buffet dining available in Western PA, and this probably goes for the rest of North Eastern America (restaurants tend to change as you get further south.) And while the most elite bourgeoisie prefer to go to all you can eat wing nights at road-side bars, there is definitely a class system amongst the "eat all kinds of crazy crap for one price" establishments in the area. And having visited a restaurant in each category, I can properly categorize them, and recommend that you don't try any of them.

**It's important to note that these classes are determined by atmosphere, price, and quality of food, not by the kinds of people that go there... although different folks do go to different places.**

The Upper Class: Fire Mountain Grill
Definitely high brow, as dinner rings in at about $9.00 a person. But you really get your money's worth here, with as much sirloin steak as you can eat. And on different nights they have different main courses, like crab legs or cat fish. You can also grab as many cheeseburgers, pizza slices, or ears of corn as you wish. But by far the reason its on the top of the list is the inclusion of those awesome rolls that you get at every Texas Steakhouse. You know, those really warm sweet rolls with cinnamon butter that EVERY steakhouse gives out, and yet you can't get enough of them.

But of course, like most of these places, it's strictly "quantity over quality." And the entire place, while I was there, was packed which made negotiating the sharp corners of the buffets rather impossible. But out of all three of the places mentioned, this one gives you the most bang for your hard-earned buck.

The Middle Class: Old Country Buffet
I haven't been here in a while, mainly because my last visit was filled with so many elderly folks that I started get liver spots on my eyes. This is by far the most popular of the buffets, but once again doesn't offer much in the ways of quality. However I do know that when I get old I'll probably hit this place up thanks to their lovely senior discount.

The Lower Class: Ponderosa
Oh how the mighty have fallen. What was once an elite, respectable steakery/buffet has been reduced to nothing more than a subpar Ground Round or Bonanza. The best items on the buffet are the swedish meatballs and the wing dings... the rest is for those without tongues (because I know you're out there.)

The only real benefit to going to the 'Rosa is that you actually order a meal and the buffet is included. Their steak is kinda iffy, but the BBQ chicken is tasty. Overall not a bad choice, but you won't really want to eat all you can at this place.

I think it's understood that you don't really go to these places for delicious food. You go for a hell of alot of food for a medium amount of dollars. You can stuff your face and go throw up and then stuff it again all for 7 bucks. My problem with these places is that there is nothing unique about them or the food contained within. It's a hall with a buffet, and the food has to all be sort of bland and standard or else the masses won't enjoy it. It's not like a fancy restaurant (say Ruth Chris) where they can have their own style for their food. People go to these places because there is something for everyone... that includes old people who can't handle "the spice."