Rising Tide in Beaver County

South-Western Pennsylvania was rocked pretty hard on Friday by more cats and dogs than an inner-city humane society. It poured down rain from early morning straight until about 10 or 11PM. It was harsh. What was even crazier was the road closings. Every major highway coming into the area was shut down due to flooding. I could list them all, but it would just come out looking like a phone number or social security number. Needless to say, they closed down the parkway, the other parkway, the turnpike, etc. And as waters rushed into the town and our numerous rivers began to rise, something magical happened... Beaver County got tourists.

For some reason, rising water is a romping good time. Or at least that's what people seem to think. My brother and I spotted all sorts of different tourists near our house, checking out the river as it encroached ominously on our grill. Some were even from as far away as West Virginia! Now of course, these people could be in town for other reasons, but I like to think they drove all this way because they got word a picnic table might be overtaken by the browning Ohio river.

At my town's waterworks building, which sits right next to the river, the police had to place barricades so that on-lookers wouldn't venture down to the disgusting river. Then they had to sit there and watch to make sure folks don't cross into the forbidden zone. The question is why are these people there?! Why are they spending more than 30 seconds looking down at the river? This is the kind of thing that doesn't require you to turn off your car. You can just hop out, look down over the hill at the water and how high it is, and then leave. But these folks are practically setting up a picnic event.

The Waterworks is used to large groups of people gathering there. Usually once a summer there is a car wreck there, which is always good for an evening of free entertainment. Then of course there are the local fireworks, which can be seen perfectly from the pump house hillside. And then there is the flooding, which actually happens a couple times a year. But unlike the first two events, flooding is about as exciting and eventful as an old person doing their morning walking at the mall.

It's my theory that some folks like to go down there and look for dead bodies floating in the water. Don't cringe, you know they're out there! Especially in "suicide-heavy" Beaver County. But this is when I go down there and reason with these people:

"Why are you standing here looking for bodies in the river? Wait until the water subsides and then they'll be laying all over the place down there!"

Yeah, the truth hurts.

The weather man said that this flooding, which had every chance to ruin my day but thankfully didn't, was a mixture of a normal storm with the after effects of Hurricane Ivan. He also said that Ivan was a goat-lover. All of this is believable. But word on the street is that there may be more hurricanes coming, and therefore more water coming. Which will of course bring more flooding, more tourists, and more commerce for the area. I guess that means everyone wins...