JBS Pledge Drive

I've been back in Beaver County for almost a year now. In that time I've offered so much to the people of the county. Over the past year I have given my time to the entertainment and education of the great people of Beaver County. In the time I have been back in the area I have co-written and performed in numerous heralded Cellar Dweller shows, the upcoming radio show 'Dodge Intrepid and the Pages of Time' - Saturday August 27th 7pm at Cafe Kolache in Beaver - , performed regularly at Friday Night Improvs, and enriched the region through my general intelligence and wit at various coffee shops and and bars throughout the county.

Now, it is time for me to move into my own apartment. This, of course, requires an increased fiscal responsibility for myself. This, dear reader, is where you come in. If you enjoy the services and entertainment I offer around the county and would like to see it continue, you can help by becoming a member of the James Boarding Service - or JBS as I like to call. To become a JBS member you simply need to send a cash donation to myself. Of course, becoming a JBS member insures you the entertainment services you have come to expect from me, but there's more. So much more.

Membership at the $25 level includes a signed picture of myself. By hanging this photo in your home you not only show your support of JBS, but telling members of the opposite sex you actually know me can be very beneficial.

Membership at the $50 dollar includes a personal phone call from myself where I'll say wonderful things to build up your ego. You will also receive a tote bag for toting things.

With a $100 dollar donation you will be privileged enough to have me over for lunch and an hour of private time with me - James. You will have the supreme pleasure of feeding me and having an intellectually stimulating conversation on the topic of your choice...As long as that subject is the television show 'Saved By The Bell'.

Membership at the million dollar level guarantees you one night with me in Las Vegas.

Clearly, membership in the JBS offers you many perks. I know money is not easy to come by, but if you truly appreciate all I have to offer you and the region I trust you will do the right thing. Any donation will help insure my continued residency in the great County of Beaver. Just think of how rewarding it can be to help a struggling young man continue the high level of service he has offered for almost a year now. If you want me to remain in the county, I highly suggest you donate today. Of course, if no one gives any money, I guess this means...

Shalom