Hollywood, Lead Us Sheep

In these turbulent times it is important that we all remember one simple immutable truth: celebrities are better than us. They are superior to us simple folk in every conceivable way. They are better looking. They are richer. They live in unnecessary, palatial 'cribs'. They are sweeter smelling. They have entire television shows devoted to their fabulous lives. They are more well spoken. They are more intelligent. And, this must be remembered at all times above all else, their opinions are worth more than the those of the rest of us slack jawed, hamburger helper eating yokels.

So, in these fractured, contentious times let us all turn to the great oracle of Hollywood to gain guidance and understanding. They will tell us everything we will ever need to know, from what to wear to who to vote for. They will do all the thinking for the poor 'little people' of our nation. This is a good thing since regular people have such a hard time thinking. We'd all be much happier not thinking at all. After all, thinking gives regular people headaches, and we always make such a mess of ideas. Left to our devices we might do totally illogical things, like read books, express ourselves, or even vote for whoever we want. What a nightmare. Thank you Hollywood for sweet, sweet mind-numbing television to give celebrities a forum to tell us useless worms how the world works.

Now, I don't want to hear any complaints. That's just the last vestiges of your independent, but fatally flawed thought talking. Just let it slip away. Don't question celebrities. They're right. They have to be. They're celebrities. I know to us, the great unwashed masses, it may seem odd that we value someone's opinion simply because they happen to be famous and they happen to be famous simply because they are attractive, or can read someone else's words on cue, or because they have a pleasant voice. But it simply doesn't matter why someone's famous. As long as someone is famous they become our moral and intellectual superiors. That's just the way the world works. It's God's plan. Celebrities are the center of our world. We should all just recognize this and genuflect. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to watch E!.

Shalom