My Own Private Stonehenge

As some of you may know, I spend quite a bit of time shuttling between my home in lovely Clintonville, PA - up in Venango county - and the Cellar Dweller home base in picturesque Beaver County. In my travels I have encountered myriad wondrous and astounding things, bad weather, scary hitch hikers, an Elvis impersonator truck driver, but I have encountered only one object which completely mystifies me.

Off of route 488, somewhere between Elwood City and Portersville, there stands a statue, maybe four foot tall, of a little Mexican leading a donkey. Alone in a small clearing, with absolutely no explanation, this Mexican is forever caught in the act of leading his donkey toward God-only-knows where. It's almost as though, this Mexican along with his donkey had sprung forth from the Earth whole. It stands there implacable, as mysterious as Stonehenge, as terrifying as an Easter Island head. I have the strangest sensation that no human mind or hand played any part in its construction. This statue exist on a plane beyond human comprehension. At least it exist beyond my own comprehension, which is - I am forced to admit - quite limited.

I do have my theories. I have several, they bubble up from the percolator of my mind. I think that some ancient culture of Lawrence County could have used this statue as a calendar or possibly it held some astrological purpose. It could have fallen from space, like David Bowie did in the 70's. It could be a gift to us from the mole people who live thousands of feet beneath the Earth. My favorite explanation is that it is an idol from a long dead religion - the Valdezians. The Valdezians worshipped all things coffee - mugs, plastic stirrers, half and half, pretentious bastards at Starbucks - and this is an idol to their chief god - Juan Valdez, the bringer of the coffee. Sure I have no proof of this, but I think if I just believe in it enough it just might become so.

One of these days - when I am not driving home at some obscene time of night or running late - I will stop my car and take a closer look at this marvel of ancient engineering. If I ever have anyone else with me and a camera handy I'll take a picture with it. I'd like one with me riding the donkey in my fancy Cellar Dweller T-shirt. I just hope that I don't upset Valdez. He is a jealous god and will not stand for mocking. He can make my coffee taste horrible for the rest of my life.

Shalom